Friday, September 3, 2010

A Hard Decision...

I will freely admit that I’m not a poet, but every now and then Muse gets the urge to try her hand at poetry. Lucky you, today you get to read the latest!!

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A Writer's Journey (so far)

I started so innocent, so naïve
Write a book, revise, and submit!
It all seemed so easy.
Doable, exciting, glamorous, I admit!

Then came reality and plenty of angst
Of agents, genre, synopsis and pace.
Prologues, backstory and point of view, too.
Enough to instil doubt and make my heart race!

But I would not be deterred
As I rewrote the start,
Took out the prologue, stayed in one head,
Began to query – oh, I was smart!

I started to blog, promotion you know.
Read blogs of writers, both pubbed and not!
Learned that success had odds like the lottery,
And voice was something that couldn’t be taught!

My excitement faltered, but still I pushed on.
Rejections amounted, further wearing me down.
I questioned my motives, my reactions to others,
My passion for writing was making me frown!

Where in my process was I going wrong?
What was I missing? What couldn’t I see?
Self-doubt attacked with singular purpose
Asking if others could do it, why not me?

Fear of failure, of being a fraud,
Took hold and strangled what little was left –
Of passion, enthusiasm, dreams of success.
Leaving me lonely, depressed and bereft!

So I need to step back, regroup and decide.
Is this what I want or simply a fad?
But my number one goal – my real task at hand –
To rediscover the joy my writing once had.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This will be my last post with The Chicks for a while! I need time to regroup, as the poem says. My last couple of posts have been anything but enthusiastic – and I have admitted on more than one occasion that I feel like a fraud writing writerly articles when I’m not writing. People will argue that I am ‘writing’ over on my private blog – and I admit that I am, daily! But those posts are ramblings about my life, my pursuit of running a half marathon, and my life on Canada’s East Coast!

As of right now, I do plan on returning. The Prairie Chicks’ blog holds a special place in my heart! I’m just not sure of a timeframe. But I want to thank everyone who visits us daily – and those who have been so supportive of my posts. And, of course, The Chicks themselves for being so understanding about my decision. Oh, and you’ll definitely see me off and on in the comment section!

Bye for now, People of Blogland.

Janet

6 comments:

Karyn Good said...

We'll be here when you're ready to come back.

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." ~Attributed to Howard Thurman

Janet said...

Thanks, Karyn! And great quote - that might make into an Inspirational Wednesday post over on the Journal :)

Jana Richards said...

Hi Janet,
So sad to see you go, even for a little while. I hope you can regain the joy and enthusiasm you once had for writing fiction. Like Karyn said, we'll be here when you get back.

Keep in touch,
Jana

Hayley E. Lavik said...

I think this will be good for you, Janet. You need time to collect your energy and focus it toward what really matters.

Janet said...

Thanks, Jana - and this doesn't mean I've closed up critique shop. If you need me to look at anything, just let me know! Just need a break away from this structure for a while :)

Janet said...

I think so, too, Hayley! I need to take this time and regroup - one way or the other, I'll get an answer to my questions!!