I could swear that I wrote my final blog - to be run today - some time ago, knowing that I would not be here when this appeared. As I recall, that blog was brilliant.
What will I do from here? Well, there are a number of things:
1. I will perfect muddling. 'Everything in muddelation' will be my motto.
2. I will learn to write in stone with a chisel if that is what it takes to be free of this blasted, dirty, rotten, no good, useless laptop.
3. I will appear on Oprah - among others - as the woman who was struck by arthritis at Disney World, and instead of showing the grandkidlets the sights, was reduced to letting them push Grandma Connie around.
These grandpushers put together their combined knowledge of wheels and set out to scare me silly. These are the kids who loved the rollercoaster although it was too slow. In reality, you couldn't have caught it in motion with a camera set at an f1000 stop, or even a video camera. Man that wagon was smokin'!
4. I will listen (to a select group of people - none on CNN). I have learned my lesson. The grandhooligans are the ones who said, "Gee Grandma Connie, I think you should use a wheelchair to get to the next gate. Pshaw. Fortunately, they overruled me. Have you seen Denver International? It is called international because it is so big, it needs two countries to contain it. I really believe one end is in Kansas Toto, and the other somewhere near North Battleford. We landed at gate 24 and left from gate 85.
5. I will talk to the dog a la Prime Minister MacKenzie King and hope my dog is smarter. His dog led us into World War II. Pen will have certain guidelines within which to work. However, I will continue to allow her to be my inspiration (she sleeps and barks - mostly sleeps).
6.Sooner or later, I am going to have to revise my first ms, but not until I ask a publisher at the Surrey Conference what kind of stuff they buy these days. No point in rescuing a damsel if she is dead in the water anyway.
7. I will employ my newest idea. I well tell myself a romantic story while I try to stay awake so Husband can get to sleep first. I snore like nobody's business - or so it is said. If the story keeps me awake, I will pursue it as a manuscript. I may call it the snory story scale. Was that really, really bad? Can I say sorry about the snory story story?
8. I have told the grandmonsters stories about Pre History as it was when I was a girl. Oldest Son can't believe I would misinform a child with such information and asked me to write it all down so they can sue me for misinforming. Hyperbole will be my modus operendi - if I ever get around to it.
9. I guess I will finally come clean and admit that I do not work best under pressure - I procrastinate. But it will take me awhile to come out of that closet.
10. I will attempt to jot down a short story about every city I have visited - starting with Paris which I haven't visited yet.
In truth, I intend to make romance novels and/or short stories out of all the ideas perking along in my head.
If I could just dictate all my stories, I'd have a dozen books written - and published? But, no one is as stupid as needs be to meekly work for me for no pay and cold coffee. Heck, even I won't do it.
So, I will now set to work (and my nose is growing again).
I will start by throwing the %^&*#$ laptop out the window. I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANY MORE!
Goodbye for now